Mexican Macho Man Sarah
by Flames99Fuse
Summary: A stereotypical white girl has a crazy f-ed up secret! She is not only a white girl, but also a seven foot tall masculine body builder of terrifying MANLINESS. Before you freak out about racism, please read the notes at the beginning of chapter one.
1. Chapter 1

ANY NAMES OR LIKENESSES TO REAL PEOPLE ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL AND USED IN FICTICOUS AND PARODIC WAYS. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME. ALSO, IN THIS STORY, EACH CHAPTER IS A DIFFERENT SCENARIO WITH THE SAME MAIN CHARACTERS. THERE IS NO REAL STORYLINE SO GO AHEAD AND READ THE CHAPTERS IN ANY ORDER. PROFANITY WILL BE ATTEMPTED TO STAY AT A MINIMUM BUT NO PROMISES. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THE USE OF 'MEXICAN' AS A DESCRIPTION FOR THE MACHO SARAH FORM, I AM DEEPLY SORRY, KEEP IN MIND THAT IT IS USED FOR HUMOROUS PURPOSES ONLY AND I DID NOT INTEND TO OFFEND. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!

**CHAPTER UNO**

"Kaaate." Sarah whined. She brushed her blonde hair out of her eyes. "When are you gonna get me my Starbucks?"

Kate sighed, setting her forehead on her keyboard. She looked back at her idiotic friend. "Just let me finish this game of League ok?"

"But KAAAAAAAAAAaaate. My stereotypical-white-girl-ness is acting up. I need coffee noooow." She slumped on her friend to annoy her.  
Kate sighed again. She shoved her friend off. "Ok fine, Just let me tell the team." She typed furiously for a few seconds. The five champions swarmed one lane and ended the game in ten seconds. Kate spun her chair around and stood up at the victory screen. She pulled her car keys from her pocket and headed towards the door. Sarah pulled on her red hair. "Ow, what?"

Sarah looked into her friend s eyes. "I call shotgun."

"Godammit Sarah, I'm driving, who else would be shotgun?"

She thought for a moment. "I dunno. Voldemort?"

"Why am I friends with you?" Kate grumbled as she headed towards the garage.

_**Transition*_

"So what do you want?" Kate asked, digging her wallet from her pocket.

Sarah took a moment to look over the menu. "I want Pumpkin Spice."

"But Sarah." Kate tried to reason.

"I said I want Pumpkin Spice Latte." Sarah's voice went dark.

Kate threw her hands up in defeat. "Fine, order it." she whispered "Idiot." to herself.

Sarah walked up to the counter.

"Hello miss, what would you like today?" The cashier asked her. He had an obviously fake smile on, and a nametag that was smudged.

"I'd like one Pumpkin Spice Latte please." she said happily.

The cashier looked confused for a second. "I'm sorry. What?"

"One Pumpkin Spice."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry hon, we don't serve those this time of year. Only around Halloween."

"But."

"I'm sorry, but rules are rules. Plus the only workers that know how to make it go on vacation the rest of the year." He shrugged. "But I'd be willing to give you something else with a small discount if you'd like."

Sarah stared him in the eyes. Fire flashed in her eyes. "What?"

"Uhh, we can't. Give you, Pumpkin Spice."

Sarah's cheek twitched. A few black hairs started poking from her upper lip. Her voice was really masculine now. "What? What do you mean you can't?!"

"We. We can't."

Suddenly, Sarah grew to seven feet tall and she got like, insanely buff. Her skin darkened to a nice tan and her moustache grew to full size. It in itself even seemed to have biceps to scare a professional wrestler.

"Not again." Kate said. She casually stepped outside to avoid the coming shitstorm. "I wonder how many tasers it'll take this time." She pondered this for a moment. Her record was currently seven.

The cashier secretly hit the red button under the counter. "I need a manager. he said into the microphone."

A Dutch man in a nice suit came running. "What is it now John?" His name tag said Felix.

John nudged his head towards the giant hulking white girl.

"Make her the freaking Pumpkin Spice." Felix said.

John stared at his boss, amazed. "What? Really?"

"Dude, she's a regular. We know how to handle this." He handed a slip of paper to the cashier. "These are the instructions. Now go." John rushed to the back room. "Now ma am. Have this." Felix gave Sarah a small cup with some liquid in it.

She carefully grabbed it with two fingers and swallowed it whole. The macho man slowly turned back into the girl it once was. "Thank you Felix." She bent over the counter and hugged him, just in time for John to come back with the latte.

"One seasonal special for the crazy chick." he said, setting the large cup on the counter.

Sarah traded it with a coupon with the store logo on it. "And a side of sass I see." She started sipping as she skipped out and met up with her friend.

"No swat team this time. Good job. Heck, not even a single passerby even looked twice." Kate stepped into her short red convertible. Sarah hopped in the seat next to her. "Everything cool? You got everything?"

Sarah sprang from her seat and ran back in. I left my iPhone! She threw the cup to the ground in her hurry to get her phone back...


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER DOS**

"KAAAAATE" Sarah whined as she opened the door to Kate's room, almost intentionally slamming it against the wall as loud as she could.  
Kate jumped in her seat, dropping her pencil. "My god Sarah, I'm drawing!"  
"I don't care, it's my birthday."  
Kate rolled her eyes and picked up her pencil. "Happy freakin birthday." she put the pencil back to the paper and continued drawing Sarah walked up behind her friend. "Whatcha drawing?"  
"Go away."  
"But KAAAAAATE"  
"No."  
"KKKKKAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTEEEE!"  
Kate accidentally broke the lead of her pencil. "FINE! WHAT DO YOU WANT?"  
"Take me somewhere."  
"Where?"  
Sarah smiled to herself. "I can't tell you, you wouldn't do it."  
"How can I take you somewhere if I don't know where I'm taking you?" Kate facepalmed.  
"Oh, uh, it's in the mall."  
Kate glared at her friend. "Ok, fine then." She grabbed her car keys off of her desk and headed towards her door.  
"Yay!"

**TRANSITION**

"Ok, where is this store?" Kate asked, already thoroughly annoyed.  
Sarah smiled. "Close your eyes."  
"God I hate you." Kate said as she obeyed the idiot.  
Sarah grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her through the mall to her target store. "Tada!" she said excitedly, hinting at Kate to open her eyes.  
Kate took a deep breath and looked. "You mean Ugg stores are real?"  
"Yeah!"  
"Whatever." Kate reached into her pocket and pulled out a 10 dollar bill. She gave it to her friend. "Happy birthday." she said before turning around.  
Sarah grabbed Kate's hand before she could go too far. "Nooo, you need to help me pick out a pair!"  
"Fine, but make it quick." Kate said before reluctantly going into the store with her friend.  
Sarah repeatedly took different pairs from the shelves and showed them to Kate for her opinion. Kate would always say something along the lines of 'looks good', probably just to get out of there faster, but it took Sarah three hours to find a pair that she liked.  
"Well, that's three hours of my life I'm not getting back." Kate said as Sarah went up to the woman behind the counter.  
"Hello." the clerk said nicely, a fake smiled plastered onto her face. "Do you need help with anything?"  
Sarah looked at the name tag. "Uh, yeah, Jaden. Do you have any of these in size 4?"  
Jaden instantly frowned. "Oh, sorry, we stopped ordering boots that small a while ago, not enough people were buying them."  
"What?"  
"Sorry, but we don't have any."  
Sarah's eye started twitching. "What did you just say?" she asked, her voice getting deeper with every word. Her muscled slowly grew, surpassing a bodybuilder's size. Hair started sprouting all over, and a fabulous mustache sprouted almost instantly.  
"Uh. We, don't, have, them." Jaden said, terror obvious in her voice.  
Sarah smashed the counter with one swing of her fist and she roared an angry roar. She turned to the displays of boots and started tearing them down. Jaden retreated to the back room.  
"Woah, woah, Sarah, calm down!" Kate said, jumping in front of a guy in the store, probably saving his life.  
"I just wanted to get some uggs!" he said, sobbing into his palms. "It's my anniversary, my wife loves shoes!"  
Kate looked at him. "God you're pathetic."  
Sarah went past her friend and the mess of a man to go wreck some more shoe displays when Jaden ran back out.  
"Ma'am! Please stop!" she shouted, hiding something behind her back.  
"Huh?" Sarah turned to the clerk. "You." she grumbled before raising a fist.  
"Here, I found these!" Jaden held out a pair of size 4 Uggs in the style that Sarah wanted. "They're the last pair."  
Sarah immediately reverted to her white girl form. "Oh my God, EEEEEEEEEE!" she clutched the boots before digging into her pocket and pulling out a clump of bills and handing them to Jaden. She took an empty box off of the counter and bolted straight for Kate's car, putting the boots in the box.  
"Sarah! WAIT!" Kate shouted, chasing her friend.  
When they both got to the car, Sarah reached into her pocket and noticed a lack of phone. "Oh no! I left my iPhone in the store again!"  
"God dammit Sarah." Kate said before her friend ran back. She was waiting in the car maybe three minutes before she heard a noise inside the shoe box. She dared a peek and saw a familiar white iPhone 6, trying to alert it's owner of an incoming call. "Sarah you idiot." Kate said. Suddenly, a siren in the background started wailing, and two SWAT trucks sped into the mall parking lot...


End file.
